Green versus Mean?

Our weekend was spent feasting on grilled barramundi fish, paired with fantastic Oregonian wines (Owen Roe and Sineann). And who said the mountains of Vermont couldn't be fun? Au contraire Mon Ami, au contraire. You see we had our best friends visiting, and that always makes for fabulous meals and spiels. But more than that was a nicely articulated "meeting of likeminded political minds," and that's something we have most certainly missed, while meandering amid the hypocritical and schmuck liberal tree huggers, of bucolic and Green Mountain splattered, Vermont.

This state has bountiful beauty and farm fresh sheep's cheese by the hungry man's hunk! It proudly leaves its highways clean, devoid of any bill boards, and demands that each resident recycle something, and more than just old boyfriends, (a practice my Mommy was so grateful to stop, when she finally met her soulmate - my Daddy - and learned what real happiness was all about). Yet while Vermonters have their global hearts in a cozy place, providing a good match to their quilts and armoires and their "country kitsch goes top notch hotel attempt," there's an enormous incongruity that is sapping right out of the trees and at a rate that can make a flatlander want to use these natives as fertilizer for a suburban garden, requiring high quality manure.

Oh sure 'compost happens' and 'eating more kale' isn't bad for regularity, AND it fuels some cool and vast vitamin intake too. But when my friends from Massachusetts visited our glorious mountain state, and walked into its newest and most elaborate construction in progress (a "little Aspen" is going up in a very mountainous quarter of Stowe, Vermont); only to be denied a brochure on the place because the 'establishment to be' is going "GREEN," and can thus not waste paper and distribute brochures, then this Al Gore recipe for love and kindness throughout our world, just starts playing out like a very bad country western song. (Where you've lost all, including the incestuous mate, and on top of that, all semblance of any customer service ever known to mankind)! Now why in the name of anything, would the priciest piece of spa/restaurants/condos and then some, to be erected in our state, keep plastering a façade of exquisite taste and amenities, only to then thrust such an oppositional flip of fowl attitude, and proceed to dish out downright despicable customer service, class and promotion of their Taj Mahal in the mountains. Either you build your swanky Switzerland and then promote and market the hell out of it, in the name of boosting our state's economy and bringing us up to snuff with current style and the trappings of leisure; OR you hold fast to the decrepit and creaking country B & B style inns, (where the notes in the rooms request that you don't use new towels daily nor write on the hotel's logo stationary unless 'absolutely necessary'). But pick one, my dear hypocritical mountain men! Save the fickle swings of not knowing how you stand on things, for the likes of confused politicians, like Barrack Hussein Obama.

The same message goes for all these Audi cars with four bikes upside down on their roofs! People, people people: it's the fast fuel gulping automobile ORRRRRRRRRRR the lifestyle of hyper-athlete and biking everywhere, but not both! Pick one! This fad (very big in VT), of riding around with a bike or two or 10 on the top of your car so that people will think you're so voguely fit and vibrantly active outdoors, is so hysterically incongruous to the phony liberal set that jumps out of those cars at gas stations, complete with four little kids en tote - each chatting on their own cell phone, which has got to help our environment in some way, right? Their attitude and actions don't match, and there is nothing succinctly "green" about anything up here except the wasabi that don's each rapidly selling sushi platter, so that the New Yorkers who moved here to escape the "horrible city" and to raise sheep and subscribe to a non-affected and complex lifestyle, can still eat and dress and partake in conspicuous consumption as if they still live in New York, but they can tell people that they're in "green and groovy Vermont," and that should rapidly move them up the status poll in some schmuck liberal set circle or another. Oy yoy yoy.

Now granted, my mommy is a gourmand and a happy coveter of several sexy and superiorly stylish, great shoes! But she walks her talk and doesn't petition anyone to ban that leather or fur; and she couldn't dream of removing customer service and posh amenities from a piece of real estate which is designed and dug into our earth for the sole reason of drawing in some massive state revenue, and to a small northern part of this country. We all want to do our part to save and preserve this great planet. (I for one, as a cognoscente and compassionate cocker spaniel, plan to mail my morning poo-poos to Al Gore, with the suggestion that it help save on garden soil, as each and every effort most certainly counts)! But there is green 'effort' and mindfulness, and then a caliber of rude, which takes real work! I invite the folk behind the Mt. Mansfield area masterpiece, to revisit whomever they've hired in hospitality and marketing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a sushi order to put in - soy sauce on the side thanks - and not to worry, those chopsticks may reappear on YOUR very plate next week, after I add them to our recycling bin and the conversion artists do their thing!

Cheers! And give somebody, somewhere, some fantastic customer service this week! Perhaps we each may change the cycle, one very pleasant smile, at a time! Best wishes, Caviar The Dog

Mais Oui!...
originally posted: July 15, 2008

My folks fed each other pinches of chevre cheese yesterday, and later sliced their sharpened Globals into tender filet of buffalo meat dusted with tarragon - seared very rare - as they gulped luscious swallows of Bordeaux from curvaceous goblets - poured right to the point of curvature. This was their nod to the French, in celebration of the fall of the Bastille prison in 1789; that was stormed for ammunition, and which unjustly was used by the French crown, to jail lower class citizens.

Ironically as we dined, (and thank goodness they graciously share their meals with lucky moi), our own quarters were packed with ammunition, because my Daddy is a great hunter, and both my folks have utilized their right to carry arms from time to time; and our enormous American flag, waved vibrantly from our upper balcony - the audible flap of its stripes cutting into the late afternoon breeze, pairing quite beautifully with the clanging of glasses, as my lovebird parents chose to toast, and to every other bite!

There is a common thread which emanates through the food and the mood of so many symbols - whether holidays or talismans to our years and tears of fighting for patriotic freedom. When able to look more globally, at all which surrounds one, it is impossible to not pay homage in some way, to those markings of "good." It becomes paramount to "celebrate" each and every moment, and it is then equally important, to find the humor in our daily lots.

But a mode of anti-Americana, and anti-humor (or the lack of ability to laugh at one's self), and even keeping close friendships with anti-Semitic and downright frightening preacher types, has gallivanted around like a badge of great honor, with Barrack Hussein Obama, to the point that one has got to wonder if this man isn't a terrorist? Not only has his wife announced her disdain for this beautiful country and Obama has denounced Americans and their lack of foreign language skills compared to young children from Europe, but the recent New Yorker cover, which plays up their radical personas - complete with the American flag blazing in the fireplace in the background - has the liberal set fuming! Why? Because in case the rest of the country hasn't learned of it yet; we are not "supposed" to make any humor or any political statement whatsoever, about Barrack Hussein Obama. McCain can go on Saturday Night Live and make fun of his own age, and we can play altered video again and again of Hilary Clinton dodging invisible sniper fire in the Balkans, and to a point where she will make fun of such and apologize for mixed messages, as she addresses crowds afterward. But if we so much as exercise our first amendment freedom, to express, via cartoon or editorial, or public speech, how we, on the right, feel about Obama, then we are racist militia and should be charged with despicable lynching.

Note to the phony left: This reverse witch-hunt is getting old.

This "speak OFF the subject raised," and "build a false premise and then run with it" poor tactic of debate, (my Mommy was a trophy winning debater and is a public speaking coach and motivational speaker, who knows a "oui" amount about these speech patterns indeed), is now making those who didn't loathe Obama as a candidate but simply favored someone else, detest him in droves. If the nouveau active and concerned citizens about our country - that would be the "schmuck liberals" - (see archived column below for a definition of such), really want that scary man elected than they should start speaking about the very specific issues which are raised against him and drop the calling out to every opponent, under the guise of racism. The schmuck liberals will play the race card in reverse, to anyone against this new cool candidate, and many of those whom they accuse of being racist, have in fact done more in the name of supporting and electing other African Americans in office, than these wanna be "groovy and open" new young voters ever, would donate their time for! If they really want to participate now, then that means they actually have to watch the news and know their issues. But they have Oprah and some other movie stars to make their decisions for them, and so here's to their slick organization of managing their time, I suppose.

Ahh well, there is much ado in French calendars and quarters this week. Brad and Angelina gave birth to beautiful twins; and so welcome to the world Monsieur Knox and Mademoiselle Vivien! Here's wishing the sensational couple and their new additions, everything wonderful. Now there are two people (Brad and Angelina) who not only are of the authentic liberal set (no schmucky stuff there), and walk their talk, but who are perhaps some of the most generous, not to mention spectacularly gorgeous, folk in Hollywood. Viva La Brangelina and their brood!

It's yak time. (Not to be confused with nap time). Since my Mommy roasted a yak over the weekend, with any luck, I'll get some leftovers. Mais Oui! Here's hoping you grab your Soulmate, and do something very "French!" You both will be glad that you did!

Cheers! And make this new week Fabuleux! - Caviar The Dog

* I would like to express my sincere condolences and warm wishes, to Tony Snow's family.

Schmuck Liberals - A new and exasperating wave of left…
originally posted: May 20, 2008

Wine Papa Robert Mondavi died over the weekend. Ted Kennedy suffered two seizures. And long hair is apparently "out," for fashion savvy women this season; so go get those scissors now, and chop - snip, snip, snip!

But amid the sorrows, fading fads and various currents which pushed right out of our beautiful world recently, we are simultaneously bombarded with a new surge of left wing expressionists - that of the "schmuck liberal" variety - and this trend can make a bright and articulate person's blood pressure boil. Quite draining stuff indeed.
Now I'm not talking about authentic liberal thinkers, who believe in the freedom for all, and for peace and non-judgment toward any individual. (I respect and enjoy deep conversations with that lot, as they're bright and their passionate and they know who they are and more importantly, know who they are not).

The latter echelon of folk, are the legitimate left. They are active, and abreast of all news that's going on. But the former sect, of wanna be "vogue voters," are saturating our beautiful country at a mind numbing rate, and it's astounding what flocks of daft sheep these confused people are - never keeping on subject when in a debate, never answering the question, hypocritically wearing and eating the various things they profess to want banned from our earth, and emerging quite "stylishly confused" when asked why they support a particular candidate. They don't know. They change their choice daily. And nine times out of ten, they remark that "since Oprah" endorsed somebody "and she is the very reason I exist" (yes, these are authentic quotes from this genre I'm itching from, just by hearing them speak), "then her choice is good enough for me!"

With the deepest respect for Ms. Winfrey and with applause for her affinity for cocker spaniels, (a damn fine breed if I do say so myself), I find it frightening, a form of weak and spineless hero worship, and the very antithesis of what "free thinking liberals of the free world" appear to stand for, when the masses of these mind manipulated folk stand up in droves, and subscribe to what a movie star or TV celebrity dictates as "the next best leader for our country." Why not ask your mailman to do your taxes and your legal counsel to cut your hair? Why seek out any experienced and savvy experts of any field for your guidance, when you can simply look to the glamour lot to do your thinking? Tres Totalitarian Chic, I suppose! (But the leaders lack luster, when it comes to articulating why it is they support their picks too)! Therein lies the two-base hit hysterical part! The Hamptons hosts and the Hollywood hotties, the daytime leaders of the small screen mystique, and your best gal pal or golf buddy; are NOT the most intelligent and articulate sources, if you are struggling to make up your mind on political views. Yet these are the very coveted impressionists, from whom the schmuck liberals draw ideas from. How deeply sad.

This genre of lefties, is perhaps most annoying when discussing anything they enjoy in life. They cannot "agree to disagree" with class, nor can they commend someone's bright and articulate stance on an issue they feel quite differently on. These are the folk who send out anti-Bush forwards on e-mail and bombard everyone they know with quips like "make sure you pass this along!" These people chastise any republican voter they meet, and will not "accept" and respect, that those folk too, are "voting"… doing…participating….and being a patriotic part of this incredible country.

This wave of the left, berates you with questions, when you eat something which they don't, and they wince with "Eeeeyew! Gross! Why on earth would you eat something like that?" and "How can you wear that when it was most likely made in a sweatshop? You better think about this and go through your whole closet!" Or "Just so that you know, every time you drive that car of yours, you are ruining this earth and should really do more, to become 'green.'" They are yelling at themselves of course (as they wear pig suede made sandals and demand that nobody wear fur or clothes made by animals, and the litany of incongruous mantras versus actions goes on and on and on). But they are interrupting somebody else's freedom of choice, when they cast judgment, and it is "choice" that the authentic "left" was succinctly about.

My Mommy is a wine connoisseur. She savors bottles of vino which cost more than most flasks of perfume. But she has never ever chastised someone who drinks their wine out of a box, or drinks "pink" or likes the cheapest, most rot gut variety of wine. It is for them to choose. Granted we all blog and express our preferred opinions and 'why,' but that's different than sending hateful e-mails or antagonistic questions to those consuming a certain product. It is their prerogative and so be it.

The obvious insecurity and lack of a backbone, which these schmuck liberals display, must stem from their fear that they are not 'doing' or being part of life as they know it, if they don't actively insult anyone who eats, breathes, votes and lives differently than they. It is a cowardice from which they operate - case in point, Barack Obama now instructing that the right wing "lay off his wife." And did Michelle Obama not know that she would be in the limelight if attempting to be first lady, and that that's a part of the dance, if they are going to step it up? But then again, she was never until now, proud of this glorious country and that speaks volumes about the candidate, who our movie stars bow down to and kiss. Geraldine Ferraro thinks Barack is sexist, some claim he's even racist, and I simply believe he is a terrorist, when I see the religious leaders he chose solace with and his choice of soulmate too, who spouts off anti-American banter with such ease.

Yesterday while moving through my surf & turf dinner, one spectacular bite at a time, (grilled Alaskan King Crab legs and soft, sultry, grass fed steak tips); I remembered how the pop stars were all moving north to Canada a few years back, if our now president George W. Bush became elected. They were all supposed to change residency, perhaps leaving on a "Go-green" albeit fully stocked with swanky furnishings, bus. The image is priceless. But they're all still here! They never put their mobility where their mouths were, nor did they thank the very country and fanfare which made them who they are and paid them exorbitant salaries. Perhaps the right wing should have fundraised their gas money, or plane tickets one way, so that they could authentically walk out their talk. Ahh well, now those people are the ones whom the fake lefts are looking to, so the cyclicality and spin of it all, feeds itself. Tsk, tsk, tsk tsk.

But now it's time for goat milk feta cheese, and a glass raised to Bob Mondavi, with appreciation for authenticity in this world, and for the ability to value that. How lucky are we.

Cheers Cutie Pies! And Make This Week Quite Wonderful! - Caviar The Dog

Caviar is bright, warm, charming, kind to others, and stylish! His first dinner consisted of ostrich burgers, brown rice and peas & carrots; after which he delivered a lovely food review, and politely requested Elk, for his next meal. His wine palate (though he doesn't actually taste any) is quite astute for his young age. (He can already differentiate between a Premiere Cru Bordeaux and an Argentinean Malbec -a strong nose has he)! Caviar's public speaking lessons are off to a sensational start! (He delivers all his speeches extemporaneously already, without using any notes or flash cards whatsoever)!This dog too, is quite philosophical.His ubiquitous banter encompasses a wide gamut of ideology, from the Socratic DOGMA mystique, to Jung's synchronicity theories and how they apply to him 'coincidentally' deserving attention. His writing skills are highly evolved, and he has begun scribing the next great American novel, titled 'A Sturgeon Odyssey,' under the pen name, 'I. P. Freely.'