"You've got to meet Ashley Asher, a teen heroine for our tough times."
- Robert Lipsyte, author of Raiders Night

I'm Beth Fehlbaum, YALSA Quick-Pick author of The Patience Trilogy: Courage, Hope, & Truth. My agent is Gina Panettieri of Talcott Notch Literary Services, gpanettieri@talcottnotch.net .

I also host a weekly interview feature on my website, YA WRITER WEDNESDAYS. http://www.bethfehlbaumya.com/yawriterwednesdays.htm

Courage in Patience, Book 1, begins the Trilogy: 15 year old Ashley's anger and desperation drives her to make an outcry about the sexual abuse her stepfather has perpetrated on her from age 9. She is removed from her abusive home and placed with the biological father she has never known. There, her life begins anew.

Hope in Patience, Book 2, continues Ashley's story. Simply put, she's a mess. She's starting a new school in the tiny East Texas town of Patience, Texas, but that's not her biggest problem. It's her mother, Cheryl, who can't see that the sexual abuse perpetrated on Ashley for six years wasn't Ashley's choice. A woman who, even after her husband, Charlie, breaks Ashley's arm in an attempt to take her back to their home in the suburbs of Dallas, still testifies on his behalf at his trial for injury to a child. Ashley's stuck in a cycle of self-injury and self-hatred as a result, and the people who love her are struggling to pull her out of it.

Truth in Patience, Book 3 in the Trilogy, asks if it is possible for Ashley to overcome her abusive past enough to experience what it's like to have a boyfriend. Ashley has to dig deep to find out who she really is--especially when her mother finds herself alone and demands that Ashley leave the life she's begun to build and return to a life of lies.

Chapter 1 of each book may be previewed on my website, http://www.bethfehlbaumya.com

I am at work on my 4th book, "Icing", about a 17 year old girl with Binge Eating Disorder whose life is changed forever when she bullies a gay classmate nearly to death.

The following is from COURAGE IN PATIENCE, Book 1 in The PATIENCE Series: 15 year old Ashley Nicole Asher's journey to recovery from childhood sexual abuse and mental disorders:
**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

My stepfather, Charlie, explained it all to me a long time ago. He was at the kitchen table cracking pecans, and I was making a piece of cheese toast in the microwave. Mom was not home.

"Do you know why I'm mean to you, Ashley?" he gently asked.

I shook my head and watched my toast revolve in the microwave. CRACK went the teeth of the nutcracker against the pecan shell.

"I'm mean to you so you won't trust me. You can't trust me. I don't want you to trust me." CRACK. CRACK.
I stared at the toast. Am I cooking this too long? Is it going to be rubbery?

He continued. "You know what? You are a sexy girl. You are a foxy little thing. CRACK. You can do anything you want, Ashley. You can sleep with any guy you want, and you could tell me, and I wouldn't tell your mother.” CRACK. CRACK.

Dammit, I'm sure I ruined this toast. It's going to be all tough now. I was afraid that would happen.

"But if you ever tell her what I've done; why you CRACK can't trust me, I'll leave her. I will. I will be … CRACK ... gone … just like that. And you'll have to tell her why I left.

"Just don't come home pregnant. If you ever come home CRACK CRACK pregnant, I'll leave... I'll leave if you come home pregnant. I couldn't take it if you got pregnant!" He lifted the newspaper he’d been shelling pecans over and dumped the fragments in a paper grocery sack next to his chair, then stretched out his fingers, popped his knuckles, and started the next round of pecan shelling.

The cheese was beyond bubbly—actually starting to grow brown spots on the surface—and the microwave was filling with steam, but the sight took on a dreamy quality as I stared at it so long that it blurred before my eyes.

I knew Charlie had had a vasectomy four years before. I don't know why I thought about that in connection with his pregnancy comment, but I did. At the time of his surgery, he was quite obvious about his discomfort, and my mother's sympathy for his pain was all she talked about. The nine-year-old I was didn't want to know about his shaved testicles. I don't think I would want to know about them at the age of ninety-nine, for that matter. I didn't want to know about his stitches and how they itched and if his incision was puffy. Leave me out of it, for the love of God.

"Your mother … doesn't like sex. She hates sex. I … have needs, Ashley. Needs that your mother doesn't want to meet." CRACK.

DING! Thank God. My cheese toast shriveled to what resembled a piece of varnished wood, I took it out of the microwave, threw it in the wastebasket next to the microwave cart, and went to my room to do my history homework. You know the sound a seashell makes when you put your ear up to it? That's the sound I hear in my head when I mentally go somewhere else, when where I am gets to be too much. “Whoosh.”

***

My name is Ashley Asher. That’s right, go ahead, and laugh. I guess my parents thought it would be “cute” to make my first and last names nearly identical. My family and friends call me Ash. My mother calls me by my first and middle names, Ashley Nicole. Her husband, Charlie, thought he was real clever and called me “Ash-Hole”.

I’m fifteen years old and I live in Patience, Texas, an East Texas town of about 3,000 people. In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would end up going to a school where the unofficial year-round footwear is flip-flops, and the only things to do on Friday nights are cruising the aisles of the Wal-Mart in Six Shooter City (yes, that's the name of a real place), or seeing one of the two movies showing in Cedar Points. There’s even less to do in Patience, although one common occurrence is pasture parties. That’s where a bunch of underage, redneck kids bring illegally obtained beer to somebody’s pasture and see how shit-faced and stupid they can get before they run out of beer.

I've been alone for so much of my life, I wouldn't know what to do if I suddenly had a social life. I’m a quiet person who loves to read and write more than anything in the world. There’s just something special about falling into worlds created by other people. I spent a lot of time pretending that I was somewhere else when I was still living at home—I mean with my mom—and I think that helps me write stories, too.

I live with my dad now. My dad. Sounds so funny coming from my mouth, because I never knew him until last summer. I call him David, and he doesn’t seem to mind. He and my mom split up when I was three months old and except for child support checks and sporadic birthday cards, I never heard from him.

The way my mom tells it, my dad was always a loser, which leads to a natural question: why would she sleep with him if she knew that? He was one year ahead of her in school, but they may as well have lived on different planets. She was a cheerleader, honor student, daughter of a doctor and accountant, and ran with the popular kids.

He didn’t know his bio father, but he had a succession of stepfathers. My mother, the Queen of Bad Decisions, says my dad's mom had terrible taste in men. I guess she would know about such things.

There is only one picture of my father and mother together, and it is from his senior prom. Her dress is snow-white satin, off the shoulder, and she tells me she tanned for weeks so she would look really brown in contrast to the stark white of her gown. Looking like a bride must have done something to her judgment because they treated prom night as if it was their honeymoon, and, surprise! I was conceived. Mom’s parents, Nanny and Papaw, were horrified—not only because she got knocked up, but at the type of guy who did the knocking up. My dad doesn’t strike me as the country club type. Papaw, an OB-GYN, set up my mom with a friend of his to give her an abortion.

When Mom told David what Papaw had arranged, he hit the ceiling and said that nobody was gonna kill his kid. He talked my mom into running off with him and a preacher married them in Patience, Texas, where Uncle Frank lived on land that’s been in their family for generations. Sometimes I wonder if my mom wishes she had kept that appointment with Papaw’s friend.

They lived in a camping trailer behind Frank’s house while Mom attended her senior year at Patience High School and David went to work as a mechanic in Frank’s shop. Mom says they fought all the time because my dad had a terrible temper. He would fly into rages where he would only feel better after he had destroyed something, like when he threw their tiny black-and-white TV out the camper door into the mud then went after it with a sledgehammer. After he had his tantrum, he would go sit in the shop with Frank and drink until he thought my mom was asleep.

I was born in January of my mom’s senior year. School was out for Spring Break when Mom packed me and all her stuff up in the car that David gave her for Christmas—a dented up brown four-door Hyundai. We headed back west on Highway 175 to La Salle, Texas, back to the two-story red-brick house in a fancy part of town that Mom grew up in. Back to a bedroom that, unlike her bunk in the trailer, was lacking in field mice nesting in her shoes and the snake that shed its skin around her hot rollers. Nanny and Papaw welcomed Mom with open arms, praised her for her return to sanity and civilization, and donated her Hyundai to Goodwill before she'd been home for twenty-four hours.

David never came after her; never questioned her leaving. Papaw’s golf buddy, a divorce attorney, took care of all the paperwork to annul the marriage, which means that legally the marriage never took place, so I don’t know what that makes me. They sent the papers to David and he signed off on everything, including paying support to the child born to their non-existent marriage.

Mom finished her high school studies through a correspondence program and attended community college to earn her medical assistant certification. Then she went to work in Papaw’s office, and we did okay for ourselves. She even bought a small house in an old neighborhood in the center of La Salle, and my days there were carefree. When we got home in the afternoons, I’d go play outside, and my mom hired teenagers to watch me during the summer, so I had the Kool-Aid commercial-type summer, where kids play outside all day then come in at night when the streetlights come on.

My life changed forever on the night my mom met Charlie Baker. Nobody in Mom’s Third Thursday Bunco group thought he’d ever go for someone like her—no longer high school cute, a little overweight with a big caboose, and saddled with a kid. Mom’s friend Neshia was dating a guy who worked construction, and his friend Charlie had just been transferred in from West Texas. Charlie was six feet tall, with a very short haircut and a shy, closed-mouth smile. He has six-pack abs in one of the pictures I’ve seen of him from that time. In it, he is wearing a red-and-white-striped Speedo, and he's posing like a model.

The guy in the peppermint stripes looked nothing like the Charlie I came to know: the pot-bellied alcoholic madman with wild auburn hair, almost clear gray eyes, and a shiny gold front tooth. Charlie’s appearance is off-putting to people who don’t know him. His long bushy hair seems to have a mind of its own, like Medusa’s hair of snakes. When Charlie is pissed, he radiates hatred, and it’s scary. When Charlie chases you down with the intent to tackle you, it’s downright terrifying.

The Bunco group held a singles night, and Charlie was there. I was there, too, playing waitress to the adults as they played the game and progressed from table to table. I was enjoying my job—I'd done it before—and I didn’t mind being the only child in attendance. Charlie paid a lot more attention to me than any of the other guests did, even my mom’s friends that I knew. I kept telling him that my name was Ashley, but he insisted on calling me “Kiddo.” It’s a name I would come to hate.

The next night, Charlie took Mom and me to a carnival that was passing through town. I was riding the bumper cars, and when I got rammed from behind, I bit my tongue—hard. It stunned me, and I sat with my bloody tongue hanging out of my mouth while other bumper cars zoomed around me. Mom called my name, but I could not focus enough to move. I was frozen. Out of the crowd, Charlie bounded across the floor, dodging bumper cars and looking for all he was worth like a super hero. He scooped me up out of the seat and dashed back to my mother with me.

“Gotta keep that tongue in your mouth when you drive bumper cars, Kiddo,” he said, winking, as he gently set me down. I felt like Lois Lane when Superman rescues her from being squished by a meteor. I'll bet there were actual stars in my eyes.

My mother and I were sold on him that night, but Charlie sealed the deal by bringing me toys and games every time he came over to our house. Four months later, in a ceremony held in Nanny and Papaw’s living room, my mother and Charlie were married. After years of being without a daddy, I finally had one.

Within a few months of the marriage, Charlie announced that he wanted to start his own construction business. He decided we needed to move to Baileyville so that he could land construction contracts easier than he was able to in LaSalle, which was overrun with the same sorts of start-up businesses. Nanny and Papaw were not happy about it, and neither was I. I loved my house, my neighborhood, and the only school I had ever known. I heard Nanny and Mom arguing about it on the phone. “Mother, I am married now, and my loyalty is to my husband. I am selling the house. We are moving, and that is final.”

We moved in the middle of the school year to a very small town and a ramshackle house out in the country. There were no other houses around ours, so I had no other kids to play with. When I got home from school each day, my only companions were the turkeys, geese, ducks, chickens, rabbits, and two stray dogs that wandered up and adopted us. My mom went to work for a podiatrist’s office in town as an assistant, and, irony of ironies, the only construction contracts Charlie could land were in Northside, right next door to LaSalle, so he went to work early and arrived home late most days. I got the feeling that things weren’t going too good. Mom asked Charlie about money all the time, and he didn’t like her questions one bit.

About the same time, my body decided it was time to start puberty, and my mother insisted on getting me a training bra. A true tomboy back in my old neighborhood, I hated the idea so much that I insisted on spelling the word, b-r-a, instead of coming out and saying it. It was hell, getting used to having straps around me and over my shoulders. On the inside, I kicked, screamed, and cursed Mother Nature for making me a girl.

There was no money to buy me new clothes. When my mom talked to Charlie about asking Nanny and Papaw to help us out so I could have some clothes, Charlie screamed at Mom, told her how stupid and fat she was, and said that if I wasn’t so fat, I would still be able to wear my clothes.

Who was this incredibly mean person? Where was the guy who risked life and limb to be my white knight on the bumper car ride?

***

READ the remainder of this chapter as well as the first chapters of HOPE IN PATIENCE (Book 2) & TRUTH IN PATIENCE (Book 3) by checking out my website, http://www.bethfehlbaumya.com

*SYNOPSES OF ALL 3 BOOKS ARE IN THE "PROJECTS ON OFFER" SECTION, BELOW.

Reviews of COURAGE IN PATIENCE:

Publisher's Weekly: "..Ashley's self-destructive tendencies, conflicted feelings and struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder read authentically.."

"Courage in Patience is a powerfully written and unforgettable story of survival and growth--the best of the human spirit. My admiration for Beth Fehlbaum is enormous--she has taken a painful chapter from her own life and turned it into a work of art that will help many people--congrats Beth!"
--Terry Trueman, award-winning author of Stuck in Neutral

BOOKLIST: Nine-year-old Ashley Asher was pleased when her mother started a relationship with Charlie Baker. Charlie, Ashley thought, would be the father she never had. She was 9 then; now 15, she recounts the story of how her dream life soon turned to nightmare, commencing with the first time Charlie touched her inappropriately.

For years she tolerated it--not only the sexual abuse but also the emotional manipulation her stepfather inflicted on her, until one day she confronted both Charlie and her mother.

To Ashley's horror, her mother sided with Charlie, leaving the teenager to find her own way, prompting her to reestablish a connection with her biological father. Though the subject matter is undeniably dark, Fehlbaum manages to keep the tone surprisingly light and hopeful. This hard-hitting but readable story about an infinitely troubling subject will resonate with all readers but especially with other survivors of abuse or with those who work with those survivors.

Reviews of HOPE IN PATIENCE:

VOYA: At first I thought this book was only for abuse victims, and that it was going to be another weepy story about how miserable life can be. I was astounded to find that anyone can relate to Ashley's story and that the book was remarkably optimistic and fun. It teaches many valuable lessons on overcoming problems in a captivating way. I strongly recommend others to read it. 5Q,4P. Reviewer: Alisa Billig, Teen Reviewer

School Library Journal Excerpt: ".. The author is to be applauded for her courageous and accurate portrayal of the many small steps that lead toward psychological healing. It is Ashley's friendships with other 'misfits' that help Ashley understand that she, too, deserves love. This book will open hearts and might well save lives."

(To read full review, please visit: http://www.schoollibraryjournal.com/slj/printissuecurrentissue/887982-427/grades_5__up.html.csp)

Honest and direct, Ashley Asher is a beacon for at-risk teens. You are not alone, her story says; others have survived and so can you. This is one of the hardest and most important things for at-risk teens to remember -- and believe -- during their long, lonely nights of the soul. Hope in Patience is the kind of book that can save lives. - Allan Stratton, Printz Honor author of Chanda's Secrets and Borderline

Beth Fehlbaum digs down into the intensely painful and unforgettable pain of Ashley Asher, a girl who has every reason to give up all hope, but who chooses the far more difficult path, finding a way to be strong and healthy. An extremely brave work, Hope in Patience takes us places we don't want to go but must, if we are to care about victims of child sexual abuse. -Terry Trueman, Printz Honor Author of Stuck in Neutral

Hope in Patience is a powerful novel about overcoming abuse, letting go of anger, and learning the true meaning of family. Thankfully, most readers will never endure Ashley's trauma, but all readers can identify with her vulnerability as she journeys on the road to resilience. - Daria Snadowsky, author of Anatomy of a Boyfriend

The grittiest, most uncompromising story I've ever read about a mother and daughter. You've got to meet Ashley Asher, a teen heroine for our tough times. - Robert Lipsyte, author of Raiders Night and The Contender

Ashley's story is both heartbreaking and inspiring, a true testament to the strength and resilience of the human spirit. Written with elegance and fearless honesty, this book is a shot of hope, and quite simply a must-read for anyone who's suffered abuse. - Jennifer Brown, author of Hate List, a 2010 ALA Best Book for Young Adults and a 2009 School Library Journal Best Book of the Year

Beth Fehlbaum touches on many life issues here, but the book's strength and Fehlbaum's talent show in her eloquent core story of 15-year-old Ashley Nicole's painful and courageous struggle out of deep psychological damage caused by years of abuse and molestation into the beginning of healing and the gradual return of self-esteem, personhood, and an understanding of the true nature of love.

--Nancy Garden, author of Annie on My Mind, named by ALA as One of the Best of the BestBooks for Young Adults of the Last 4 Decades of the 20th Century

In this powerful story Fehlbaum scrapes below the surface of the trauma caused by sexual abuse,exposing layer after layer of pain and damage. She then shows how complex the healing process is, fraught with setbacks. Using a cast of delightful, multi-dimensional characters, Fehlbaum also shows that recovery is possible, and the human spirit is indomitable. A remarkable achievement.

--Shelley Hrdlitschka, author of Dancing Naked, an ALA Quick Pick 2003, ALA Best Book Nominee 2003, ALA Popular Paperback Nominee 2003, CLA Y/A Honour Book 2002, White Pine Award (Ontario Readers Choice Award) 2002, CCBC Our Choice Award 2002, International Reading Association Choice for Young Adults, ALA Popular Paperback, 2005

This gripping novel takes us deep into the emotional devastation of Ashley Asher, who finds strength and courage in a small Texas town after her step-father's abuse and mother's abandonment. Readers won't be able to put this book down.

-- Mary Beth Miller, author of AIMEE, a 2002 ALA Best Book for Young Adults, Colorado Blue Spruce Book for 2003, & named by Barnes and Noble as one of the Best of 2002 in their teen category

From Teri Lesesne, AKA "Professor Nana", the "Goddess of YA Literature":

It took me entirely too long to read HOPE IN PATIENCE by Beth Fehlbaum (West Side Books 2010). Somehow this book got stuck behind other books. I should not be permitted to double shelve ANYthing. In any event, it kept me good company on the flight to NYC last week. I am pleased to be able finally to talk about this remarkable book about the resiliency of the human spirit.

Ashley Asher has moved in with her father and stepmother in their home in Patience, Texas. She has not known her father long, but he has rescued her from an abusive household with her mother and stepfather. Now, Ashley hopes to put some of the awful events of her past behind her. It is not a simple matter; Ashley's stepfather sexually abused her; Ashley's mother defended him instead of protecting her own daughter. Ashley wants desperately to be like everyone else in her class: carefree, happy, "normal." With the help of her new family and some other caring people in her life, there might just be light at the end of the tunnel.

There are no easy answers here. Nor should there be given the circumstances Ashley has to live with and then somehow survive. Fehlbaum has told an honest, searing story that shows Ashley moving slowly toward what will be her "normal." This should offer hope for readers, especially those who might find themselves in similarly frightening situations.

Dear Beth,

I read a lot of books. No, I mean a lot! A physical review is required before selection and I read the first three chapters, dip into the middle and read the end of all your fiction that goes into our collection. That said…I read your entire book without stopping. I was crying by the end. What a complex and fragile thing our humanness is. Thank you for this story.

Cathie Sue Andersen

Selector -Youth Fiction

Tulsa City-County Library Support Service Center

1339 N Lansing

Tulsa OK 74106

4/3/2012: E-mail that made my day--from the person who won copies of my books through the Authors for Henryville (Indiana) raffle:

Hi, Beth,

I wanted to thank you for the copy of your book that I received last week. Hope in Patience is a gripping read! I am nearing the end and have enjoyed it. I will definitely recommend it to my students and the other librarians in my school district. I appreciate your donation to the Henryville cause, my hometown is just 20 miles up the road from there and I am all too familiar with the devestating effects of tornados.

Thanks again!

Kim Barany, librarian/teacher

Las Cruces High School

1750 El Paseo Rd.

Las Cruces, NM 88001

Children's Literature Review of Hope in Patience (from Barnes & Noble site)

This is not a light, easy teen book. It is, however, an important read. It covers some timely, but sometimes controversial topics in a way that is highly accessible to today's teens. After six years of sexual abuse at the hands of her stepfather, Ashley Asher, fifteen, has just moved to tiny Patience, Texas. Her father, a recovering alcoholic whom she has not seen since she was three months old, has straightened out his life and become her refuge along with his new wife Bev, a high school English teacher. Patience is nothing like the suburbs of Dallas, but it is here that she begins to take the slow, painful steps necessary to deal with her past. Ashley's road to recovery is not pretty and is not easy. She sometimes resorts to cutting to deal with the pain. She sometimes, in dealing with traumatic flashbacks, finds herself hiding in the armoire. She also struggles to deal with the accusatory actions—and blatant inactions—of the mother she thought loved her. But recovering from sexual abuse is not the only topic touched on here. There is Z.Z., an African-American in a small, mostly-white southern town; K.C., whose parents will not accept her homosexuality; and Marcus, whose religion is the driving force in his life.

Ashley's struggles to make friends in a new school, to fit in, to figure out who she is are normal teen issues even if her personal history is not. Even readers who have not been abused will connect with Ashley and her friends. Their voices are real. Their struggles are real. For those who have or are dealing with similar issues, this book speaks up where perhaps they cannot.

A 2011 YALSA (Young Adult Library Services Association) Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers, this title deserves a place in every high school and community library.

Reviewer: Kris Sauer

ICING is my work-in-progress, about a 17 year old girl with Binge Eating Disorder whose life changes forever when she bullies a gay classmate nearly to death.

THE PATIENCE TRILOGY

Weekly YA writer interview feature on my website, YA WRITER WEDNESDAYS:
http://www.bethfehlbaumya.com/yawriterwednesdays.htm

I am an experienced English teacher and I frequently draw on my experience as an educator to write my books. I have a B.A. in English, minor Secondary Education, and an M.Ed. in Reading.

Hope in Patience is a 2011 YALSA Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers.

I have a platform and a following in the young adult literature world and also among survivors of sexual abuse because of my work with victims' advocacy groups. I was the keynote speaker at the National Crime Victims' Week Commemoration Ceremony at the Hall of State in Dallas, Texas. I was a presenter for Greater Texas Community Partners--I addressed a group of social workers and foster children on the subject of "Hope". I used the launch of Hope in Patience as a fundraiser for the East Texas Crisis Center, and I continue to use my time and talents to reach out to those who share with me the journey of surviving abuse.

I was a panelist at the inaugural YAK-- Young Adult Keller (Texas) Book Festival, along with Ellen Hopkins, Charles Benoit, Kelly Milner Halls, and several other YA fiction authors.

I am going to be on a panel at the YALSA Conference in St. Louis in November with Ellen Hopkins, Jo Knowles, Selene Castrovilla, Shannon Delany, and Deborah Heiligman!

The topic of our panel is: "A Fickle Future: YA Authors Discuss Trend-spotting and Timeless Keys to Literary Success when Facing the Disconnect of the Digital Age": With so much at their fingertips, how can we grab and connect with teen readers? What’s more important: content or flair – or should we blend both? Can the next big thing be predicted – or carefully created? Authors Selene Castrovilla, Shannon Delany, Ellen Hopkins, Jo Knowles, Deborah Heiligman, and Beth Fehlbaum discuss past teen literature trends, their personal experiences, and debate what the future holds. What does the future hold for the story and the personal connection we all strive to make with readers in a digital age, and how can we make reading more appealing and accessible to all young adult readers?"

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and I worked for six long hard years in therapy to overcome my past; thus I have a unique perspective to write Ashley Asher's story of recovery from childhood sexual abuse and how she learns to cope with a variety of disorders that she has as a result of her abuse.

The PATIENCE Trilogy: Courage, Hope, and Truth.

ICING--it's about a 17 year old girl with binge eating disorder (B.E.D.). --will be complete as of Summer 2012.

SYNOPSES OF THE PATIENCE TRILOGY:

Courage in Patience Synopsis

Ashley Nicole Asher’s life changes forever on the night her mother, Cheryl, meets Charlie Baker. Within a year of her mother’s marriage to Charlie, typical eight-year-old Ashley’s life becomes a nightmare of sexual abuse and emotional neglect. Bundling her body in blankets and sleeping in her closet to try to avoid Charlie's nighttime assaults, she is driven by rage at age 14 to to tell her mother, in spite of the threats Charlie has used to keep Ashley silent. Believing that telling will make Charlie go away, instead it reveals to Ashley where she lies on her mother's list of priorities.

"We’re just going to move on now,” Cheryl tells Ashley. “Go to your room.” Ashley's psyche splinters into shards of glass, and she desperately tries to figure a way out, while at the same time battling numbness and an inability to remember what happened when she blacked out after Charlie tackled her. She knew that when she awoke her clothes were disheveled and the lower-half of her body was covered in bright red blood-- but she has only a blank spot in the "video" of her memory.

When Ashley’s friend, Lisa, sees a note from Cheryl telling Ashley that Charlie would never “do those things to her,” and insisting that she apologize for accusing him of molesting her, Lisa forces dazed Ashley to make an outcry to her teacher, Mrs. Chapman.

By the end of the day, Ashley’s father, David, who has not seen Ashley since she was three months old, is standing in the offices of Child and Family Services. He brings her home to the small East Texas town of Patience, where he lives with his wife, Beverly, their son, Ben, and works with his brother, Frank.

Through the summer school English class/ Quest for Truth taught by Beverly, an "outside-the-box" high school English teacher whose passion for teaching comes second only to her insistence upon authenticity, Ashley comes to know Roxanne Blake, a girl scarred outwardly by a horrific auto crash and inwardly by the belief that she is "Dr. Frankenstein's little experiment";

Wilbur "Dub" White, a fast-talking smart mouth whose stepfather is a white supremacist who nearly kills a man while Dub watches from the shadows, forcing Dub to realize that he cannot live with the person that he is, any longer;

Zaquoiah “Z.Z.” Freeman, one of the few African-Americans in Patience, whose targeted-for-extinction family inherited the estate of one of Patience’s founding families and has been given the charge to "turn this godforsaken town on its head";

Hector "Junior" Alvarez, a father at sixteen whose own father was killed in prison, who works two jobs and is fueled by the determination to "do it right" for his son, "Three", and his girlfriend, Moreyma;

T.W. Griffin, whose football-coach father expects him to be Number One at everything, and whose mother naively believes that he is too young to think about sex; and

Kevin Cooper, a not-so-bright football player with a heart of gold, whose mother, Trini, a reporter for the local paper, is instrumental in exposing the ugliness that is censorship.

Every person in the class is confronted with a challenge that they must face head-on. The choices they make will not be easy—but they will be life-altering. With the exception of her mother and step-father, Ashley is surrounded by people who overcome their fear to embrace authenticity and truth-- the only way to freedom. But will Ashley have the inner-fortitude to survive the journey to recovery and the effects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Will Ashley find her voice, speak up for herself, and break the bondage of her abusive past?

Realizing "she's gonna need a lot more than we have," David and Bev enlist the help of Scott "Dr. Matt" Matthews, an experienced, slightly unconventional therapist who insists that Ashley can and must come out hiding in the closet in her mind.

The Chris Crutcher novel, Ironman, is taught by Beverly Asher in the summer school class. When T.W.’s overbearing parents read the book, they decide that the book should be censored, and they involve the pastor of Patience’s largest, most conservative church to lead the fight through the Purify Patience organization. Its mission is to cleanse Patience of Profanity, Promiscuity, and Parent-Bashing Pedagogy—all complaints the group has about the novel, Ironman. Its hidden agenda, however, is to return Patience to a time when "Patience was 100% white", "women knew their place","everyone had plenty of money", and "Christian values were taught in school."

The censoring, pseudo-Christian, white-supremacist, misogynist organization is exposed for what it is in a courageous move by one of its own (well..his mother threatens to twist his ear off if he doesn't speak up), isolating the pastor and causing most of his “flock” to deny they ever knew him. National and world press attention shine speculation on the dirty little secrets hidden in Patience, and its inhabitants are forced to examine their own values and beliefs.

Alone in the dark, Ashley must face her worst fears in a pivotal scene between her, Charlie, and her mother. Will Ashley, like her friends, find courage in Patience?

Hope in Patience Synopsis

Ashley Nicole Asher, 15, is a mess. She's starting a new school in the tiny East Texas town of Patience, Texas, but that's not her biggest problem. It's her mother, Cheryl, who can't see that the sexual abuse perpetrated on Ashley for six years wasn't Ashley's choice. A woman who, even after her husband, Charlie, breaks Ashley's arm in an attempt to take her back to their home in the suburbs of Dallas, still testifies on his behalf at his trial for injury to a child. Ashley's stuck in a cycle of self-injury and self-hatred as a result, and the people who love her are struggling to pull her out of it.

David, Ashley's long-absent father, hadn't seen his daughter since infancy, until he showed up in the offices of Child Protective Services to bring her back to his home in the woods of East Texas, and the life he's built with his wife of ten years, Beverly, and their son, Ben. No longer a heavy drinking rage-a-holic, he's sworn he'll spend the rest of his life making up lost time with Ashley, and hopefully earning her trust and love.

Beverly is balancing her life as stepmom to Ashley with her job as a high school English teacher, and her reputation in the community as a magnet for controversy.

Scott "Dr. Matt" Matthews, a slightly unconventional, drop-kick-the-teddy-bear and kick-the-desk therapist, is determined to pull Ashley out of the darkness she crawls into when her self-destructive tendencies overtake her better judgement, and the "squirrel on speed" that gets going in her mind is making laps and chugging Red Bull.

More than anything else, Ashley craves normalcy. She envies girls who can experience relationships with guys without fear of being touched, and she wishes that being a consistent back-of-the-pack finisher in cross-country was her biggest problem.

But.. do other people have it that easy?

Krystle "K.C." Williamson has an electric guitar named Kurt and a mother who believes that the best cure for K.C.'s homosexuality would be a trip to J.C. Penney's to pick up some cute skirts instead of the t-shirts and jeans that K.C. wears every day.

Pam Littlejohn is driven by jealousy and insecurity to push herself hard for a cross-country medal in State, and to spread the rumor that Ashley moved to Patience because she had an affair with her stepfather Charlie.

Marcus Merriweather is so afraid of not having all the answers, he hides behind THE Holy Bible (the only "version" that's right), and a stiflingly narrow world-view.

T.W. Griffin quit his position as running back for his father's Patience Panthers football team, and now his dad's hell-bent on making Bev Asher pay for taking his son from him.

Zaquoiah "Z.Z." Freeman, self-described as "bountiful, bodacious, and beautiful", is fighting the urge to knock Pam's smirk right off her face and beat Marcus to death with his holier-than-thou attitude. She's still reeling from her cousin, Jasper, being nearly beaten to death earlier in the year, and depends on dancing to help her deal with the fear that comes with being a racial minority in small Southern town.

In a shocking turn of events, Ashley is forced to choose between living her life or longing for a relationship that was never what she had convinced herself it had to be. Will her new family be enough to keep her from treating her skin like a scratching post, sliding back into suicidal fantasies and hiding in small dark spaces?

Truth in Patience Synopsis

Ashley Nicole Asher is finally adjusting to life in the small town of Patience, Texas. She’s been going out with Joshua Brandt for three months and he’s wild about her…but what will she do when memories of childhood sexual abuse intrude with the natural progression of their relationship?

Ashley’s mom, Cheryl, marks Ashley’s sixteenth birthday by sending her a boxful of Ashley’s baby clothes and photos with Ashley cut out of every one of them…and Cheryl still won’t admit that her late husband, Charlie, stole Ashley’s innocence.

Dr. Matt, Ashley’s slightly unconventional therapist, is determined to help Ashley see that just because her body reacted to the things Charlie did to her, it does not mean that Ashley chose to participate in the abuse, and that the only way to freedom is to embrace truth.

Ashley’s father, David, and stepmom, Bev, are at the breaking point when it comes to dealing with Ashley’s tendency to self-mutilate when she is angry or hurt. And Bev’s dealing with challenges in her job, too, as an English teacher at Patience High School. When all of her students choose the controversial novel—Chris Crutcher’s Whale Talk—for their independent study of a multicultural book, she wonders if she will again have her feet held to the fire at a school board meeting for guiding her students to ask hard questions.

When Jeff Foster’s dad opens the “Dixie Pride” store as a means of dispelling the “myth” that the Confederate flag represents slavery, Jeff comes face-to-face with students whose family members were directly involved in the Slocum Massacre. Soon, he comes face-to-face with his white-hooded father as well, and he must decide for himself what kind of “pride” his dad is really selling.

As Dr. Matt says, “Life’s Messy”—and Ashley’s friends and family are finding out just how messy it can be.

Ashley’s Human Ecology teacher, Ms. Manos, is teaching the students about dating and love relationships —in between running to the hallway with bouts of morning sickness and planning her wedding to Ashley’s Uncle Frank. Ms. Manos will be relieved if she can keep her pregnancy a secret before the news gets out in the tiny town—and also if she can get Travis Hager to stop referring to sex as “Bow-chicka-wow-wow.”

K.C. Williamson’s mother has taken up full-time substitute teaching and volunteering at Patience High School, because if she’s watching her all the time, she thinks K.C. won’t be gay.

And, when Ashley’s grandparents go on an extended vacation and Cheryl is all alone, Cheryl insists that Ashley come back to her: after all, she has papers proving that she has primary custody of Ashley.

In a heart-pounding, long-awaited confrontation, Ashley must find a way to get her mom to see that the game playing won’t work anymore. Ashley insists on TRUTH IN PATIENCE.